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Joke of the Day

"Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I'm easily lead."

"Dad is in the bath when his son walks in and asks what's that between your legs dad. He replies that's my hedgehog son. The son replies it's got a big cock for a hedgehog"

"They don't have blood banks in England ... ... but they do have a liver pool."

"What do you call an all you can eat pizza buffet? Carb Blanche!"

"It's ok to eat meat on Fridays during lent! As long as you burn the hell out of it..."

"What did Hillary Clinton say when she got to the restaurant? ""Can I have a private server?"""

"When I see a woman driving a bus I smile and think about how far we as a society have come in equality. ` And then I wait for the next bus."

"I had a colonoscopy today... ...it was a pain in the ass! EDIT : Deleted original post that had ""coloscopy"" instead of ""colonoscopy"""

"I've changed my name to Yasiin Bey. It is very important to me personally and culturally that I am called by only this name from now on and I ask respect for my decision... said Mos Def"

"The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence."