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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a whore and a prostitute? Capitalism."

"I went into a convenience store today... I asked the shop keeper if they sell stationery there. He replied no, they're allowed to move around."

"How do you get 4 girls to sit on one chair? You flip it upside down."

"What do cats read Mewspapers"

"I bought some shoes of a drug dealer today I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day!"

"My sister borrowed my favorite shirt without asking again, so I changed her Facebook profile picture to a positive Clearblue pregnancy test."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Beethoven ! Beethoven who ? Beethoven is too hot !"

"I hope I'm not the only one who hovers over someone when they use my favorite pen just so they know I'm serious about wanting it back."

"What do necrophiliacs get when they wake up on the day of a funeral? Mourning Wood"

"Ooop, you spit-talked on me. I'm just gonna pretend nothing happened and freak out inside my mind."