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Joke of the Day

"My sister borrowed my favorite shirt without asking again, so I changed her Facebook profile picture to a positive Clearblue pregnancy test."

"chicken. knock knock Why did the chicken cross the road? (To get to the idiots house.) *knock knock* ""Who's there?"" The chicken...."

"Hey, baby, you wanna come back to my place, and become a famous murder victim?"

"Why did the football coach call his quarterback a hairdresser? Because he missed a split-end on a curl."

"Mom says to Dad: ""I've found a BDSM magazine under our son's bed. What are we supposed to do about it?"" Dad replies: ""I don't know honey, but I think, hitting him would be very wrong."""

"Did you hear about the skywriter's autobiography? It was way over my head."

"Did you hear about the new Jewish car? It stops on a dime and then picks it up."

"BREAKING NEWS: Adrian Peterson has been traded to the Minnesota Twins They needed a switch hitter"

"[spelling bee] Your word: Spelunking ""U-N-K-I-N-G"""

"and asks for a drink. A time traveller walks into a bar"