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Joke of the Day

"I would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that group of sexually repressed potheads who kept talking to their great dane."

"What did the hamburger name his daughter? Patty"

"What do you call the debut of a new beer? A saison premiere!"

"Did you hear that Robert Plant got in a car wreck? Now he's Robert Vegetable."

"Why does Bono never get any mail? He lives on a street with no name."

"Did you hear about the plane that crashed on the way to the ginger convention? Thankfully there were no souls on board."

"I judge every book by its cover: ""Too smart for me"" is what I say and then look at Twitter on my phone."

"Do you know why turds are tapered? So your butt hole doesn't slam shut."

"I walked into an explosives shop the other day and wanted to buy a grenade with my debit card. It all went horribly wrong when the cashier asked for my pin."