128990

Joke of the Day

"Why does Bono never get any mail? He lives on a street with no name."

"Simple cure for childhood obesity: Ice Cream Trucks that don't Stop."

"Here is a complete list on how to build a single stair. Step 1"

"The Scarecrow didn't have the brains, Tin Man didn't have the heart, and the Lion didn't have the courage. So Dorothy remained a virgin."

"I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it's for her is to eat it. Apparently"

"Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it."

"I hate having OCD - do you realize what it's like to feel somewhat compelled to wash your hands nearly every time you go to the bathroom?!?"

"Sorry I panicked and told your kids that Santa is able to visit every house in one night because he does meth."

"What do you get. . . If you crush a hundred rednecks to death in a car crushing machine? An erection."

"Life is like a box of chocolates... the fatter you are, the shorter it lasts!"