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Joke of the Day

"A Roman walks in to a bar... He holds up two fingers and says ""Five beers, please."""

"What do you get when you put a dinosaur and a bomb together? Dinomite!!!!! *budum tssst*"

"That awkward moment when your ex is dating someone who looks just like you."

"Difference between priest and acne? What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until puberty to come on a kid's face."

"Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied."

"MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED"

"There's 3 types of people in the world. The ones that know how to count and the ones that don't."

"I regret buying that straight jacket. Thought it would look good on me but I just can't pull it off."

"Ethnic humor . . . Q: What is the national bird of Italy? A: The fly."

"What's the difference between tuna, a piano, and a pot of glue? You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna!"