43457

Joke of the Day

"Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied."

"So, when does this adulthood thing start then?"

"Me? Racist? No way! Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people."

"I hate forensic TV shows like CSI. I know for a fact that they are completely unrealistic... I mean come on, women detectives?"

"Why is there no such thing as a great golfer? The best ones are consistently sub-par."

"New York City is the only place where sound travels faster than light. I always hear the horn before the light turns green."

"Every now and then I like to do a complete check of my financial situation. Yep, still nothing'."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalatapus"

"Life is basically all the stuff you have to do to get from coffee time to whiskey time."

"[SKYRIM JOKE] Why didn't the Nords win the theater audition? They should have acted."