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Joke of the Day

"I regret buying that straight jacket. Thought it would look good on me but I just can't pull it off."

"""If he told you to jump off a bridge would you do it?"" ""No, because i'm not fucking crazy mom."""

"Ever since they started calling pole dancers ""artists,"" I've been writing on my resume that my talents include ""moving in artistic circles."""

"I can't bend my pinky without my ring finger bending as well..is this normal? Let's hear your results 'cause I know you just tried it."

"""Have fun"" is just a nicer phrase for ""have a horrible time without me."""

"Why did Hitler kill the Jews? Because they're greedy dirty Jews"

"What's the speed limit of sex? 68... any faster and you'll eat it."

"2 pedophiles are sitting on a bench and a 12-year-old girl runs by... One turns to the other and says, ""Man, I bet she used to be really hot!"""

"This one is an oldie but a goodie Your mom"

"Did you hear about all the Pokemon that died in the fire? All that was left was Ash"