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Joke of the Day
"Did you know cat's are impervious to most rattle snake bites? Said every dog ever."
Next Joke
"During a recent study, almost 95% of participants preferred exercise to sex. Because they all ran away when I offered."
"[Game of Thrones] How do you ask a Northerner if they are of noble descent? Arya Stark?"
"A blind man walks into a bar... ...and a table... and a chair."
"HBO cancels ""Luck"" after horse deaths. Their next endeavor is to make a mini series called ""Glue""."
"There is now a blood test to determine gender attraction. It checks homogloben levels."
"Back in my day bathrooms were used for taking a sh*t, not as a photo-booth!"
"wife: What would you do if 9 told you he was gay? me [looking for the remote] Ask him if he's seen the remote"
"Why don't you sleep with an 90 year old lady..... Have you ever tried to peel a grilled cheese apart?!?"
"Whenever somebody asks us how long we've been married... Whenever somebody asks us how long we've been married, we always answer: Me: Eight wonderful years. Wife: Eleven years."