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Joke of the Day

"Whenever somebody asks us how long we've been married... Whenever somebody asks us how long we've been married, we always answer: Me: Eight wonderful years. Wife: Eleven years."

"Big shoutout to the lazy, seven year old idiot who named Red Delicious apples."

"How did the barber win the race? He knew a short cut."

"What do you get when you cross a Mexican cholo and an ill tempered Irishman? ... a surprisingly stable person; according to my Homie O'Statis."

"So I recently discovered there's a black man in my family tree... he's still hanging there."

"What book did the rabbit take on vacation? One with a hoppy ending."

"What does a girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity? ""Careful, dad, or you'll crush my smokes."""

"If Gandhi went on a 100 day journey with no shoes or toiletries... ... he would be a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis"

"I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I'm dressing up as a phone battery at 2%."

"Why do girls generally go to the bathroom in groups? 'Cause they're a bunch of pussies."