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Joke of the Day

"There is now a blood test to determine gender attraction. It checks homogloben levels."

"My friend's name is Jesus. So if I go driving with him, can Jesus literally take the wheel?"

"Even if oil prices go down, I'm still going to siphon gas from my neighbor's car because I like the adrenaline rush and he's an asshole."

"I'm Jealous of my imaginary friend because he has a real friend"

"My mother was so overprotective we were only allowed to play rock, paper."

"I repeatedly slapped my girlfriend as hard as I could at the concert last night. I was clapping for the band."

"My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. Until the library kicked me out...."

"I'll sell my broken watch when the time is right."

"The last time I saw my friend Peter he was counting. ""75, 76, 77..."" he said, as he began to walk away. I don't know what he's up to now."

"How do you make 3 pounds of fat attractive? Put a nipple on it."