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Joke of the Day

"I was really upset when I lost my paper towels I was SO upset that they had gone missing that I had to hire a BOUNTY hunter *ba dum tss*"

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But I want to know how they got in there."

"How do you bury a Jew? Dig a really deep hole and throw a penny in it."

"I think my friend is addicted to drinking brake fluid He says he can stop anytime he wants"

"Canada's got it right, when they don't want a citizen, they just convince them they have talent so they move to the US. #JustinBeiber"

"Why do men prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company"

"Which kind of ink do you put in your computer's printer? Black Red or Iced? Iced Ink? Well yes you do but I didn't want to mention it."

"Sitting across from a table of cops at a restaurant and convinced im going to get arrested for how gross I look eating this chicken wrap"

"Why did the mummy stop using the Internet? He was getting far too wrapped up in it."

"""I'm just gonna pull on weird animal parts until something comes out that I can drink"" -guy who discovered milk"