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Joke of the Day

"I think my friend is addicted to drinking brake fluid He says he can stop anytime he wants"

"Give me a few strong men, and I'll build a nation. Give me a few hot women, and I'll conquer the world."

"My girlfriend isn't talking to me because apparently I ""ruined"" her birthday... ..I'm not sure how that's possible, I didn't even know it was her fucking birthday."

"How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool? ""Please get out of the pool"""

"What do you call an elephant that can't do sums ? Dumbo !"

"What do skaters, kidnappers, and hipsters all have in common? They all have white vans"

"Why did Scotty check all the toilets of the Starship Enterprise? He was looking for the Captain's log."

"A man enters his house and is absolutely delighted when he discovers that someone has stolen all the lamps"

"We'd probably have a lot less crime if superheroes would stop making movies all the time."

"Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head."