224377

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the wedding between the two antenna? The service was terrible, but the reception was great."

"Nothing kills a good party buzz like the paramedics showing up and acting like drama queens."

"I was reading a book on antigravity. I couldn't put it down."

"Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas? Elf and safety"

"I submitted a penis joke once The mod tagged it long..."

"18 years ago today, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum saved our country and our PLANET from an alien invasion. Never forget"

"My friend said to me, ""If I wasn't mixing cocktails, I'd be a criminal."" ..... Either way, he's behind bars."

"I had a colonoscopy done the other day and I think it went really well... As I was walking out I overheard the nurses talking about me and I could hear one saying ""What an asshole!"""

"I'm scared that the mob is looking for me I've been getting a lot of emails from Don Otreply about bill payments."

"Mysteries of #Gravity: Why Bullock's hair, in otherwise convincing zero-G scenes, did not float freely on her head."