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Joke of the Day

"I submitted a penis joke once The mod tagged it long..."

"I like to steal other peoples' Viagra... It's a real dick move, I know."

"Don't go chasing waterfalls. *turns on tap* We have their children. They will come to us."

"I never wanna ""touch base"" with anyone, I type it in emails to sound business-y."

"*looks up from phone* ""Kids!! we're leaving the playground in 22 percent."""

"What does an American actor say when going to Europe? Let's go PAL."

"Your personality finally matches your looks. That's not a compliment."

"What noise does a Nintendo ambulance make? Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u"

"[In a cucumber submarine] 1st mate: *inspecting leak* we're taking on saltwater captain Cptn: hm yes looks like we're in quite the pickle"

"Watching Finding Dory & her parents call her ""cupcake."" How do they know what that is? This movie doesn't seem very realistic, you guys."