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Joke of the Day

"I had a colonoscopy done the other day and I think it went really well... As I was walking out I overheard the nurses talking about me and I could hear one saying ""What an asshole!"""

"What's the difference between a horny man and a vampire? Vampires don't come inside without permission"

"A British man enters customs at an Australian airport. The officer asks ""Do you have a criminal record?"" The man looks confused and replies ""No, do I still need one?"""

"What is a government mandate? When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together."

"If you had to steal a bike from someone, who would it be? A black guy, because it's probably already stolen."

"What vegetables do plumbers hate the most? Leeks"

"Los Angeles education Trying to give my kids an education in Los Angeles is a nightmare. The guns, the gangs, the drugs -- and I'm home schooling them."

"How long do chickens work ? Around the cluck !"

"What's the difference between an Afghan Military Base and a Pakistani School? I don't know, I just fly the drone."

"What do floppy disks and Jesus have in common? They both had to die to become the icon of saving."