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Joke of the Day

"I had a colonoscopy done the other day and I think it went really well... As I was walking out I overheard the nurses talking about me and I could hear one saying ""What an asshole!"""

"Whenever my grandma comes to visit and I hear a loud thud from upstairs, I go for a coffee and think about the cool stuff I just inherited."

"My roommate says I don't respect personal space. That's at least what it says in his diary."

"Adrian Peterson regrets leaving marks on his son after the spanking... ... and that's the bottom line."

"Why do blind people walk their dogs so much?"

"""Would you just look at all this bullshit?!"" - enthusiastic fertilizer suppliers"

"I swallowed two pieces of string yesterday I shit you knot"

"BREAKING: Popeye Expresses Outrage as Pope Goes to Mount Olive"

"Why black people are so tall ? Because they're/their kNEe GROwS."

"So, Schrodinger walks into a vet with his cat. The nurse takes the cat, goes into the room, and comes out 10 minutes later. ""Sir, we have good news and bad news."""