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Joke of the Day

"I'm scared that the mob is looking for me I've been getting a lot of emails from Don Otreply about bill payments."

"Chuck Norris farted once. He did it in the Sahara forest."

"I heard thatZoolander 2 was worse than the Holocaust... At least the Holocaust was organized."

"Of course I touch myself when I think about you It's called a face palm"

"Q: What's another name for the ""Intel Inside"" sticker they put on Pentiums? A: The warning label."

"If you want to use excessive force and get away with it too. Just join your local police force."

"but sir, if a picture is worth a thousamd words then i dont understamd why my essay cant just be 4 or 5 emojis"

"Ticket Clerk: Enjoy the film! Me: U too! TC: Really? You'll take me with u? Me: I didn't mean.. TC: Oh, I see Me: I'm sor TC: [sobs] JUST GO"

"[snake charmer struggling to get snake to stand up] I swear this never happens"

"I ate a big cheeseburger for lunch and my heart started going really fast, so I'm counting it as an hour at the gym."