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Joke of the Day

"*releases swarm of killer wasps* - ATTACK! *wasps fly off harmlessly in all directions* - Hmm... time for plan bee"

"Apparently, people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones... ...But people in Abu Dhabi DOOOOOOO!"

"The 3-year-old just held up some paper and said: ""Daddy, I'm reading the newspaper!"" Kids love dinosaurs."

"""VROOM VROOM! VROOM VROOM VROOM! SCREECH!"" - Entire script for Fast and the Furious 6"

"What do you call a short psychic who got away with murder? A small medium at large"

"The guy who named the umbrella meant to call it a brella but he hesitated."

"Scientists predict human-level artificial intelligence by 2030... ...maybe sooner if the bar keeps dropping."

"My pregnant dog licked the floor after I cleaned it with ammonia... my vet said she was a basic bitch."

"My mum's sister always builds up jokes and then the punch lines turn out to be shit. Auntie Climax."

"Cashier: Smile! Me: Worry about your own face."