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Joke of the Day

"If you're forcing me to choose between you and my dream of making a sequel to the 1982 horror classic then you've got another Thing coming."

"What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Woman"

"My friend showed me a black computer he wanted to buy... I said ""Dont you mean an African American computer?"" and he replied ""Stop being so PC"""

"A black hole was telling me a story... It sucked me right in."

"An extremely close friend just confided in me that he likes comic sans. He is no longer my close friend."

"Did you hear about Michael Vicks new shoe contract? Hush Puppies."

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Israel? Hillary won't suck Bill's dick."

"My boss hates it when I shorten his name to D!ck, Especially since his name is Steve."

"""i'm really more of a dog person."" -- werewolf"

"How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat? When she fits in your wife's clothes."