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Joke of the Day
"Why are women so afraid of looking stupid? Because they don't want the world to know!"
Next Joke
"[febreze commercial Take 1] We've blindfolded Steve and brought him into this room where we brutally murdered his family a week ago to demonstrate the strong odor fighting power of Febreze"
"Why didn't JFK ever like vodka? Because he couldn't handle a few shots"
"""WHAT?? You ate the last of the cantaloupe?? This is the worst day ever!"" Can you please stop being so melondramatic."
"My girlfriend has trouble with flying me too, that's why I use a plane."
"I need to stop drinking so much milk. It's an udder disgrace."
"Not sure if you're a pretentious douchebag? Do you buy honey in a plastic flip-top bear? No? Pretentious douchebag."
"My Lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my Birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch."""
"what is a deaf person's favorite cereal? shredded what"
"There's a joke to be made about Niantic removing the step feature in Pokemon go instead of fixing the bug. But I just can't seem to find it."