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Joke of the Day
"I hate being a depressed atheist. Nothing to live for. Nothing to die for."
Next Joke
"What do being in the mafia and cunnilingus have in common... One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit!"
"If I had a dollar for every time I had sex I'd be a cheap prostitute"
"If i were a pro wrestler my finisher would be struggling to put together an IKEA chair then smashing it on the other dude in frustration"
"I wish I hadn't wasted so much of my life creating wacky sci-fi inventions... The time machine alone set me back 15 years."
"What do asparagus and anal sex have in common? The more it's forced on you as a child, the more you dislike it as an adult."
"This woman at work sounds just like me. I'm going to pay her to call my Mom and occasionally say mmhmm and how nice."
"Who's the best detective in Mexico? Sherlock-Holmes"
"Girl, if you got any hotter you'd be so earth-shatteringly hot the ground would split & we'd burn to death in molten lava. That would suck."
"Shout out to girls that have a relationship with prisoners. At least they always know where their man is at."