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Joke of the Day

"Do teardrop facial tattoos prevent crying? If so, I'm getting a urine stream tattooed down my leg so I'll stop wetting the bed."

"What looks better... than roses your piano? Tulips on your organ."

"I absolutely love Sarah Palin Oh wait nevermind, I actually meant Parah Salin."

"I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the sidewalk! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse."

"Can you name all the dissimilarities between men and women? I can't either, but I'm sure there's a vas deferens."

"Why was the girl in such a bad mood when she got out of jail? She had a period at the end of her sentence."

"15 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope, and no Jobs. Don't die Kevin Bacon!!"

"north carolina to sue over bathroom bill hillary: stop calling him that"

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You beat the shit out of her."

"A man is setting his password to ""mypenis"" Error: Not long enough"