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Joke of the Day

"15 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope, and no Jobs. Don't die Kevin Bacon!!"

"Bernie Sanders won another state last night! The State of Denial"

"What Moby Dick's fathers name? Papa Boner"

"How does the pig farmer get to the fair? He rides piggyback."

"Two Irish guys walk out of a bar."

"Me: I'm updating my fitness app. Is bowling a sport? Him: You didn't bowl. You kept score. Me: Is score-keeping for bowling a sport?"

"My son kneed himself on the trampoline. *black eye forming Me: Son, we need to come up with a better story than this."

"A priests asks the convicted murderer...... A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, ""Do you have any last requests?"" ""Yes,"" replies the murderer. ""Can you please hold my hand?"""

"My toilet stopped working today. He decided he's had enough of my shit"

"Was kind of surprised at all the swearing when I unplugged the church organ to charge my phone."