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Joke of the Day

"Can you name all the dissimilarities between men and women? I can't either, but I'm sure there's a vas deferens."

"Tonight's Menu: Gourmet pork blend sausage with organic tomato reduction, served on warm split bread rolls. AKA: Hot dogs with ketchup."

"Can we stop acting like ""seasonal"" beers makes sense at all?"

"Ask me if you can join the pee club... Do it!"

"Alright, alright. You can all have jet packs! [two days later] Reporter: Another 8000 dead today due to sky rage."

"The US Treasury announced Harriet Tubman will replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 So there's going to be a whole new bill in the black market."

"Meditation is fun when you want to do nothing for an hour but still feel a sense of accomplishment."

"It's so hot I just saw two trees fighting over a dog."

"The nice thing about Hide-and-Seek is your children voluntarily go in a closet and be quiet for 3 hours."

"What do you get when you cross pasta with a snake? Spaghetti that winds itself around your fork."