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Joke of the Day

"2 plants are hanging out One says to the other, "" you hungry?"" To which the other replies, ""yes, I could go for a light snack."""

"I like to scream ""YOURE MAKING A SCENE!"" Whenever someone asks me for directions."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Black and ground up in the freezer."

"My husband grew a beard and suddenly I'm having to karate chop every woman we pass."

"*bursts into English convention* GRAB ALL THE STUFF YOU CAME WITH THE BUILDING'S ON FIRE *crickets* Christ. THE STUFF WITH WHICH YOU CAME"

"ME: *pulling up my pants* What's the prognosis, Doc? DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT?! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor."

"""You're Fired!"" Said President Trump to all of our nuclear rockets"

"I can kill a man with nothing but my bare gun"

"A young Hitler, and a young Mao are in a room with a cannibal The cannibal had dic-tator tots for dinner"

"How does a feminist change a light-bulb? Just kidding, feminists don't change shit."