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Joke of the Day
"I like to scream ""YOURE MAKING A SCENE!"" Whenever someone asks me for directions."
Next Joke
"Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman"
"I can hear everything you're mumbling under the duct tape. Yes, I will marry you."
"Me: Hi. I can't take your call right now but please leave a message. CW: I'm standing right in front of yo... Me: BEEEEEEEEEEEEP"
"7yo: mommy you smell like beer. Me: well, you smell like a bad idea that your dad and I thought could fix our marriage....now go to bed."
"What did the apathetic philosopher doctor say? Who cures?"
"Teacher : Give me a sentence with the words defence defeat and detail in it. Pupil : When a horse jumps over defence defeat go before detail !"
"I think the easiest way to get a woman to sleep with you is to have her in bed with you when she's very tired."
"What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog? A hen that lays pooched eggs."
"What animal has exactly 12 grams of carbon? A mole"