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Joke of the Day

"I just turned 50 today and it's official , my balls are longer than my pecker."

"So I am not signing up for my company's 401K... There is no way I could ever run that far."

"Why do some people call it a ""tuna-fish"" sandwich? It's not like anyone calls it a ""chicken-bird"" sandwich."

"""Omg there's a picture of him blowing smoke out of his mouth. I must bang him this instant""- no one, ever."

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer I am not sure what they were laced with but I have been tripping all day"

"What's the difference between choking sex and necrophilia? About 5 minutes"

"AMA Request: Adolf Hitler"

"I like my beers how I like my NBA players with hops."

"Dance like no one's a werewolf. Eat like you found it in the couch. Shout like your cat's sleeping. Feel good like a bossy poem told you to."

"I asked God for a bike,... I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."