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Joke of the Day

"So I am not signing up for my company's 401K... There is no way I could ever run that far."

"I went to this restaurant on the beach in Florida and ordered something called the Pelican Burger. It was good, but the bill was enormous."

"What kind of karate do Rabbis know? Jew Jitsu."

"A man walks into a fancy dress party carrying a woman on his back... The host asks the man why this is so. ""Oh, I'm a tortoise and this is Michelle"" says the man."

"What do we want?! LOW FLYING AIRPLANES! When do we want them?! NEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!"

"Why Asians are good at everything? Because they're Asians, not Bsians"

"Corny computer jokes? Why was the spider inside the Computer? He was looking for a webpage!"

"[Entire house is full of trees] Girlfriend: What did you do?! Me: You told me to spruce things up. GF: Everything's stuck to everything!!!"

"I've got a friend who's a female private investigator. Or gynecologist, as she likes to be called."

"I don't have Great Expectations for my son. But I got him the other 13 Dicken's Books."