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Joke of the Day

"The Problem With Scooby-Doo Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions."

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong socks today!"

"What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture... What do you get when Sleeping Beauty gives a lecture on the Northern Lights to the people of Wonderland? Aurora boring Alice."

"Did I ever tell you about how I lost my job at Tropicana? I couldn't concentrate."

"How many people from Svalbard does it take to change a light-bulb? Light? What's that?"

"this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don't know who's winning"

"Jurassic Park Jurassic Park II Jurassic Park III Jurassic Park IIII Jurassic Park IIIII [this fence is taking forever]"

"Jesus walks into a bar... orders a glass of tap water."

"I sent 117 texts and called you 82 times but you must be busy so I came over to tell you the restraining order expired and I still love you!"

"Me: *eating a Mars bar* Martian: Good grief where will I obtain alcohol now"