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Joke of the Day

"A mattress will double in weight after six years, just like everything else I sleep with!"

"The one good thing about having a kid with Zika virus... even if he achieves major success in life, he'll never get a big head."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? . Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat"

"A termite walks into a pub and asks... ...is the bar tender here?"

"What Do You Call A Winery In Alabama? Vineyard Skynyrd"

"I used to be addicted to soap. I'm clean now."

"Teacher and Student Teacher: Why are you late? Student: Because of the sign on the road. Teacher: What type of sign? Student: The sign that says, ""School Ahead, Go Slow.""!"

"People never point out how awesome Meth is for weight loss."

"Headed to a wedding and my guy friends told me to take pics of hot women for them. *selfies*"

"ELI5: with the recent outbreak of Ebola why hasn't Madagascar sealed it's borders yet?"