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Joke of the Day

"Headed to a wedding and my guy friends told me to take pics of hot women for them. *selfies*"

"A Recent Study Found That... ...Christian women tend to become atheists after marriage. I don't find that surprising. After marriage, a woman does lose faith in a man's ability to come a second time."

"Avoid the horror of watching your children's nativity this year by using a condom approximately six years before you have to attend."

"Me - That's the second First Baptist Church I've seen today. Wife - OK? M - One of them is lying. W - You can't ever shut it off can you?"

"Ronda Rousey and I have something in common We both finish in 34 seconds."

"[*Wakes up on sofa] ""Did I...DID I HAVE A FIGHT WITH BATMAN?"" Wife [from bedroom]: ""YOU. PUNCHED. A. NUN."""

"FRIEND: OMG I'm so glad to get away from my kids for a bit ME: haha yeah I don't think I'll ever have kids FRIEND: no it's the best"

"Remember the Scooby Doo episode where they put Scooby down and gave Shaggy the death penalty for ripping the face off an innocent person?"

"Why did Jon Snow wait in line at the Apple store ? For the watch ."

"I tell pissed off women to ""calm down"" So yeah, I'm into extreme sports."