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Joke of the Day

"I've grown up a lot recently. For example, I used to drink beer all day and now I drink wine."

"Men don't get lost; they discover alternative destinations."

"Couches pull out... I don't"

"What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff."

"I'm so poor... I just rinsed off a paper plate."

"I bought my wife a dildo and a book for her birthday.. If she doesn't like the book she can go fuck herself."

"Knock knock!!!1!1 Who's there? U fuk U fuk who? Ur mum"

"My girlfriend left me for a hindu guy. Anyway, he'll treat her better - they worship cows."

"If Yo Yo Ma doesn't answer the phone by saying ""cello"" then I consider his entire life a failure."

"I just taped the TV remote to my dogs back so I'll never lose it again. Your move Apple."