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Joke of the Day

"So, It's not ok to write ""always best to have a spare incase you break the first one"" on facebook, when someone announces a second pregnancy"

"If your uncle Jack is stuck on the roof and needs help. Do you help your uncle Jack off?"

"How do you make holy water? You just take normal water and boil the hell out of it."

"My friend and I decided to race our Ford Pintos. Mine broke down three miles down the road. I had to walk the rest of the way. I won."

"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes: *whack* ""Dang!"" A bad skydiver goes: ""Dang!"" *whack*"

"wander ten miles over the German border, shoot everybody in sight and then claim you were never over the line"

"If my dick was a dude... He would prefer the term little person"

"I just got back from my best friend's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service."

"Why doesn't the gas balloon want to have a flame? 6 Because he could become a brandfare"

"BAD COP: Throw the book at him. GOODREADS COP: OK! Check out Ruby, the beautiful and devastating debut novel by Cynthia Bond. 12"