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Joke of the Day

"I just got back from my best friend's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service."

"I love hillary Clinton so much. It makes me weak at the knees."

"This guy told me that playing the voilin is the best way to calm you down. I bet he never tried smashing it over someone's head."

"There is a nudist convention on in town next week. I might go if I have nothing on."

"TIL the musical group Ace of Base was killed in a horrific traffic accident after they missed their exit on the highway and crashed... Police later said, ""they didn't see the sign..."""

"Never trust a big butt and a smile. Where is the rest of this woman's body?"

"Its me and my son's birthday next week so were doing a joint party. We've ordered a Tinkerbell cake for him, but she will be topless for me."

"Why does the divorced guy keep a tampon on the top of his tv set? To remind him of the cunt that has his DVD player."

"Martin Shkreli's life"

"What do you call a mutant with the power to get women pregnant Impregneato"