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Joke of the Day
"Why its called 'having your period' and not 'rolling out the red carpet ' I'll never know."
Next Joke
"The good news is, I blocked the creepy guy. The bad news is, I'm tweeting this from inside his trunk."
"So you kill them with kindness but then what do you do with the bodies WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE BODIES SO MANY BODIES OH GOD"
"A Chick, A 1% and A Black Guy walk into a Bar and ask: ""What time is the next debate?"""
"Safety first. Just kidding, coffee first. Safety's like third or fourth."
"The French word for shoe insole is semelle, which they often do."
"1. Ask for something. 2. Throw it down. 3. Repeat steps 1 & 2. - Toddler To Do List"
"I'll refrain from making any jokes about the Ashley Madison controversy... They're such an easy target, it might be considered cheating."
"[Possible GOT Spoilers] What's Rickon Stark's favourite band? One Direction"
"Our Xmas dinner also happens to be my New Year's resolution Bone-less turkey"