223783

Joke of the Day

"Documentary I just finished watching a documentary on time machines. That's 3 hours of my life I'll probably get back."

"Pc gamer A pc gamer was about to get laid but he saw a mole on her body and said ""Damn bitch you have a dead pixel"""

"took the kids to the park so they could beat each other up in the fresh air"

"Where is the best place to hide after murdering a black man? Behind a badge."

"How many Norwegians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 7"

"What do you call a Mexican baby born yesterday? Diego"

"What do a walrus and a zip-lock bag have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal."

"If you love something, let it go. Let it run until it reaches the invisible wall & the shock collar you attached to it's ankle cripples them"

"I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: ""What do you do at a red light?"" Me: ""I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."""

"S & M me and the wife are in the s & m stage of our marriage. she Sleeps, i Masturbate"