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Joke of the Day

"NICK CANNON: hello and welcome to america's got talent HAWK: [hiding his talons behind his back] i misunderstood the title of this show"

"It's fun to chant ""Bloody Mary"" three times into your car's side mirror while driving at night and watch her jog to keep up"

"Avoiding the use of French-derived words... Is not my forte."

"Man goes to the doctor because he believes he might have hemorrhoids He did and it was rather uncomfortable"

"Why can't you suck air through your fist while bobbing your head back and forth? ;}"

"What's the speed limit of sex? 68 Because at 69, you flip over and eat it."

"Girls that don't care about size are just shallow."

"If M. Night Shyamalan told a knock-knock joke. * Knock knock. * ""Who's there?"" * ""M. Night Shyamalan."" * ""M. Night Shyamalan who?"" * ""Nah, I'm just messing with you. I was inside the whole time."""

"What's the best thing about have sex with a lady boy You can reach round and pretend its went all the way through"

"Kayne West says he's gonna be the next Nelson Mandela. Your wife is a porn star and your daughter is a compass. Take a seat, son. Merica."