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Joke of the Day

"What's it called when Batman doesn't go to church? Christian BALE!"

"What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot? A bite in shining armor."

"The only thing I want written on my tombstone is ""I'm standing right behind you."""

"I think I owe my right hand a Valentines Day card!"

"Jews are lazy... ... essentially a group of people who couldn't be bothered to read the sequel. -Will Bailey (Cambridge footlights)"

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead!"

"What did the Easter egg say to the boiling water? Gonna take a while to get me hard, I just got laid by a chick."

"This girl said ""she didn't know how I would take it..."" So I figured if anything I'd just give it back."

"I was awakened last night by the bulimic lady in the apartment next door. I knocked on her door and said: ""Please keep it down!"""