223709

Joke of the Day

"My neighbor is a real douche & always cheating on his wife, so I changed my wifi to KARL IS CHEATING ON YOU AMY for when she needs my wifi."

"Shout out to my grandpa That's the only way he can hear"

"If I ever fire someone who is a Taylor Swift fan I'll say ""I knew you were trouble when you clocked in."""

"You could very well be going to heaven but it won't be hell in hell without you!"

"You know someone is hard core When they have strong and well-defined abdominal muscles"

"That awkward moment when I tried starting a slow clap in the hospital after my uncle died."

"What's the difference between marriage and identity theft? At least with identity theft you know you're getting fucked."

"Religion... That is all."

"If he doesn't sleep with a life-sized replica of you made of human hair and deli meats, he's not as into you as I am."

"Tower: Mission triple-three do you have problems? Pilot: I think I have lost my compass. Tower: Judging the way you are flying you lost the whole instrument panel.."