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Joke of the Day

"If he doesn't sleep with a life-sized replica of you made of human hair and deli meats, he's not as into you as I am."

"An Englishman walks into a bar There's usually an Irishman, Scotsman and Welshman too but they're all still at the Rugby World Cup!"

"A human cannonball for the circus retired after 35 years of service. When asked if the man would be replaced, the owner of the circus said, ""No, only because it's hard to find a man of that caliber."""

"My wife's a terrible cook, she can never get her sauces right! But I've stuck with her, through thick and thin."

"How do you greet a racist murderer? Good morning officer ."

"Why were the Three Wise Men covered in soot? Because they came from afar."

"What is the most common educational degree in New Mexico? Kindergarten dropout."

"ME[David Attenborough voice] Starting with the outer layers he'll devour the entire carcass HER: are you narrating yourself eating lasagna?"

"Snoring comes easily to me. In fact, I can do it in my sleep."

"A man went to see the doctor The doctor told him ""you need to stop masturbating"" The man asked ""why?"" The doctor replied ""I need to finish the exam"""