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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between marriage and identity theft? At least with identity theft you know you're getting fucked."

"I saw the funniest joke on television the other day. It was Hillary Clinton's campaign. I couldn't stop laughing."

"Who is Donald Trumps favorite Pixar character? WALL-E"

"A man walks into a restaurant and calls over the waiter and asks him ""Do you serve pigs?"" The waiter - ""We don't discriminate between our customers."""

"If a tiger goes to bite you, confuse him by french kissing him. You'll probably still die, but at least you got to make out w/ a tiger."

"I come from a family of failed magicians I have 2 half sisters"

"Two gay guys are going on vacation... ...the night before they are to leave, one gay guy says to the other, ""Hey man, can I pack your shit?"""

"Getting old sucks. I walked into the bathroom and forgot what I went in there for. And then I shit my pants."

"why are Jews so good at studying ? cause they went to concentration camp !"

"Went to Costco for eggs. Walked out with a toaster oven, an 80 inch 4K TV, minus 1 child and no eggs."