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Joke of the Day

"[Walks into steam room at gym] ""good morning my.."" ""Dave no!"" ""my est.."" ""Please Dave no.."" ""..My eSTEAMed colleagues"" ""Everyone hates you"""

"Why are people pissed off that Justin Bieber smoked some weed? It's not like he released another album or anything."

"It's hard to find true love these days. Even Charles Manson's fiance wanted him for his body."

"Why did the police drop the charges against the man accused of being an olive branch? Because the charges wooden stick. My humblest apologies. * The case! Drop the case! Ah fuckit."

"Women's sports"

"The Internet: An electronic version of, ""Now, why did I walk into this room?"""

"Sometimes I worry that pizza isn't a real sport"

"An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough."

"[at the mall] ""I've lost my son. Can you make an announcement for me?"" ""Sure, what's his name?"" ""Xander."" ""See, that's why he ran off."""

"Baby seal walks into a club..."