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Joke of the Day

"Do you ever look at your own ass and ask yourself ""What the hell is going on?"" -- Balaam son of Beor"

"I don't appreciate the trash talking Chinese athletes saying ""we OWN you!"" to the U.S. team. Let's leave our deficit out of this!"

"Did you hear about Disney's new Star Wars/ Highlander crossover? The tag line is ""There can be Obi-Wan."""

"shaggy: hey scoob where's my burger scooby: ruh roh shaggy: great danes only live 8 years you know scooby: ruck roo"

"Bruce Willis angrily returns a cheese grater to the store, ""IT DID NOT MAKE THE CHEESE GREATER! IT JUST MADE LOTS OF LITTLE CHEESE"" he fumes"

"""You stop crying or I'll give you something to laugh about!"" - clown parents"

"I just took a poop so black, I sent an Instagram of it to Kim Kardashian and she asked what team it plays for"

"Rick Astley: Do you have any Pixar movies I can borrow? Me: You can have Cars, Toy Story & Ratatouille, but I'm never gonna give you UP."

"Letting me choose my username on Amazon is a bad move. I think customer support gets uncomfortable when I need help with CockPopsicle87."

"When bae starts to age... She turns beige."