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Joke of the Day

"Letting me choose my username on Amazon is a bad move. I think customer support gets uncomfortable when I need help with CockPopsicle87."

"What's the smartest thing to ever come out of a woman's mouth? Albert Einstein's dick."

"Sitting while wearing shorts is a fun way to make your thighs look like they escaped sausage casing."

"Do teardrop facial tattoos prevent crying? If so, I'm getting a urine stream tattooed down my leg so I'll stop wetting the bed."

"You shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since you walked there."

"A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender says ""what'll ya have"" Seal replies ""Anything but Canadian Club."

"An oldie but a goodie: What do Pink Floyd & Dale Earnhardt Sr. have in common? Their last biggest hit was The Wall"

"What's the difference between a cunt punch and fisting? pants"

"What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear."

"How can you tell if a black girl is pregnant? You stick a chicken wing up her vagina and it comes out clean."