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Joke of the Day

"I don't appreciate the trash talking Chinese athletes saying ""we OWN you!"" to the U.S. team. Let's leave our deficit out of this!"

"""May I have my surgery badge, Scout Master?"" ""Um, there's no such thing."" ""There was no such thing as a duck squirrel til now. Badge me!"""

"A woman turns to her husband and asks... ""Dear, how many women have you slept with?"" He replied, ""Just you dear, the other ones kept me awake."""

"A man boards a plane. An attractive flight attendant walks towards the man and asks: ""Would you like some headphones?"" The man replies: ""Yes, but how did you know my name was Phones?"""

"why did the Mexican man push his wife off of a clif? to-quila"

"What's the difference between negligence and falling off of the empire state building? Nothing if you're a gorilla."

"A money-hungry man opted to change his name And the Rich get Richard"

"Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time? Because she was an operetta (operator)."

"Now that I have an adult coloring book, most arguments with my 3 yr old are over fridge space."

"My friend just joined a Reggae band, he plays the triangle. He says it's pretty easy, all he has to do is... Sit at the back and ting."