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Joke of the Day

"My little sister bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen her face as I drove pasta :b"

"FBI: If you testify you'll have to go into the Witness Protection Program ME: I'll do it FBI: Your wife and kids too ME: Oh ok never mind"

"Everyone says I should sign up for a 401k but I don't think I can run that far."

"Tell me about your time in the pornography business It's a schlong story."

"Her: For once I'd like a man to just sweep me off my feet. Me: *slowly ties Karate Kid headband around forehead*"

"What did our parents do to kill boredom before the Internet ? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they don't know either."

"What do you call a hooker with a runny nose? Full"

"What does every ""Tickle Me Elmo"" get before they leave the factory? Two test tickles"

"why can't two physicians be near each other? Because it's a paradox!"

"How many Police Officers does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None. He 'fell'."