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Joke of the Day

"If turkeys go extinct and we start eating giraffes for Thanksgiving, I got dibs on the neck."

"Why do Indians hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land. Edit: well now I know what people mean by rip inbox. Edit2: wtf happened to my headline, why is it Donald trump?"

"the 10,000 hours rule is simpley not true i hav said ""helo bird"" to a bird for over 10,000 hours but i still cam't talk to birds"

"I miss you like... post your funny ending! let's see what we get..."

"What happens when a guy addicted to banging fat chicks doesn't get laid. Width-drawals."

"*hot lady looks at me* Me: Hi! Do I know you? Lady: No I think I'm mistaken. *awkward pause* Me: So...is there a mister taken? *hit by bus*"

"A good groaner What do you get when you combine an elephant and a poodle? A dead poodle, split in half."

"I'm a British real estate agent I only drink propertea."

"Two prostitutes are discussing one asks the other: -What did you ask to Santa Claus this year? the other one answers: -Fifty dollars like everybody else"

"A joke about sword fighting I thought I invented a joke about sword fighting, but turns out it's just a riposte."