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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather went to the doctor The doctor said he has the body of a 21 year old, who smokes, drinks, and does hard drugs."

"The leading method of suicide in Albania is attempting to kidnap Liam Neeson's daughter."

"A Hurricane and a Divorce in Virginia I learned this joke from my chem teacher: What do a hurricane and a divorce in Virginia have in common? Screaming, crying, and somebody loses a trailer!"

"Just got a call from the head of Twitter (Paul Twitter). He says great opinions everyone, he's looking forward to more opinions tomorrow."

"Q: What do you call a frog with no hind legs? A: Unhoppy!!"

"What's the worst thing about being black and jewish? Having to sit in the back of the oven."

"Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months."

"What does an alcoholic ghost drink? Spirits."

"""It's not you, it's me."" -Twins looking at some family photos"

"If I had a dollar for everything I did out of spite... I wouldn't take the money."