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Joke of the Day

"Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know."

"These Jehovah's Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant."

"I've been on reddit so much I'm gravely ill now... I think I caught a computer virus."

"I heard about a woman who doesn't use her feet... I really want to meter."

"Can I borrow your G-String? Mine broke... said one guitarist to the other"

"*gets on 1 knee* Me: I know we haven't known each other for a long time, but will you marry me? Her: Please get off my knee"

"Why are Ethiopian's teeth so white? Because they never use them"

"[NSFW] What's the difference between a woman and a refrigerator? ....the refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out!"

"How do you jump out of a fifteen-floors building without getting hurt? You jump from the 1st one."

"Did you hear about Linda Lovelace's grandmother? She went down on the Titanic."