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Joke of the Day

"I was considering feeding Mr. Whiskers spicy food... ....But then I remembered that curry-osity killed the cat."

"Subway...I don't know whats worse.. What Jared did or you raising your Februany $5 footlong to 6$."

"Why are sinks depressed? People look down on them."

"Why did Mufasa die? Because he didn't Mufasa-nuff."

"So I slept with your daughter last night. She has a tiny dick though."

"Clearly Cheating A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""

"Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly."

"Him: Let's grill this steak Me: *slams table, screams at steak* WHO SOLD YOU THE DRUGS Him: that's not- Me: Refusing to talk? BIG MISTEAK"

"How long do you have to be ignorant before you start experiencing bliss?"

"Where does Vladimir keep his shit? In a Putin"